Panic! Chaos! Destruction!

Virus (Dream Diary #3)

2009-10-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt I was a carrier of some horrid disease. My skin was pale, my hands were cold, and the mucus in my nose clogged all breath. I was quarantined, I was exiled, I was isolated. But what drove me to panic was not my solitary confinement, or my wretched condition. I knew my fate, and it was far worse than death.

I was going to turn into a zombie.

By the way, Zombieland was a really good movie.

Oh Goodness.

2009-09-20T19:24:00.001-07:00

Heroes

Lost

Glee

Fringe

The Office

Dollhouse

Flashforward

My schedule is way too packed. I might have to stop spending time with my textbooks in order to keep up with this rigorous pace.

Falling (Dream Diary #2)

2009-09-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I stood on the top of a thick stone slab. That wavered as I stood upon it. It overlooked the deepest chasm. And the red of the rock beneath my feet was like the skin of the devil against the black of the gaping mouth below. As I walked along the scarlet sandstone, it tipped and gave way. And my body was flung like a doll into the empty space below.

Perhaps rock is not the best foundation.

An Apple.

2009-09-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

As I walked towards the locker room after my fifth period class, twirling my TinkerToy invention in my hands, I felt my sandal slip and roll off a small sphere that gave slightly as I glided over it. I turned back to see a half-eaten, over-ripe, dirt brown apple in my previously taken path. Horrified and appalled I remosefully shouted back at it.

"Oh dear! I'm sorry!"

In Any Moment (Dream #1)

2009-09-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I was devoured by a horrific black monster. It clung deftly to the ceiling and sprang as I strolled beneath it. By the mercy and love of Almighty God, I was sent back to Earth to live a while longer. But in any moment, any second, any blink of an eye, He may reclaim me.

I awoke. Fearing my life may be taken again. Slowly, coming to my senses, I regained my balance. Until I realized, my dream was not far from the truth.

I can die in any moment.

Can you?

A long due letter.

2009-03-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

Hello High School,

We've been a bit rough with each other lately. I must admit, you've been putting up a fairly good fight. It's been quite a challenge to rise and meet you everyday. However, I must make something absolutely clear.

You will not master me.

No longer will you delegate when I wake and when I sleep. No longer will you control when and where I devote my time. No longer will you deceive me into believing what's important.

You will not master me.

I will not bend to your all-consuming motives. I will not find my identity in what you deem is necessary. I will not compare myself with your lifeless drones called role models.

You will not master me.

Your rules and teachings may conquer. My friends and allies may fall. My mind and body may fail.

But you will not master me.

So bite me Monday. Bite me. And I'll make your teeth bleed.

Sincerely,

Alex Chiang

Another essay to my English teacher.

2009-03-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

If you read the first essay posted on this blog then I'm sure you're delighted, and not so surprised, to hear that my English teacher had me rewrite it. These are his comments.

Alex–the prompt asks for an essay. This is some hybrid of an essay and an apology letter, which was NOT the prompt. *rewrite due tomorrow or -25 points.

This is how I interpreted it:

Alex–the prompt asks for five-paragraphs, typed, double-spaced, MLA Format. This is not an essay. It is way more than five paragraphs. It does not have a proper heading. It addresses the audience directly. It ends with a valediction. This is NOT acceptable. How dare you try to do something different. Stick with what everyone else is doing. Don't try to be creative. *rewrite due tomorrow or -25 points (because that's the worst thing I can do to you)

The first thing I did was laugh. The very nature of my previous essay was unacceptability. This forced rewrite proved it was a success.

The second thing I did was look up the word essay. Apparently, an essay is any literary composition about a certain topic. So, even though it was disguised as, formatted as, a letter, my brain child was actually an essay.

The third thing I did, of course, was write my rewrite.

PS I have a 79.9% in this class. Haha.

Wonder.

2009-03-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

"Men go abroad to wonder
at the height of mountains,

the huge waves of the sea,
the long course of rivers,

the vast compass of the ocean,
the circular motion of the stars,

but they pass by themselves

and they don't even notice."

-Saint Augustine

An essay to my English teacher.

2009-03-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

This was a difficult essay to write. It was difficult in the same way a depressed therapist must comfort his clients, a depraved priest must teach his pupils, a detached parent must love his child.

It was difficult to lie.

As students, we must always find the happy medium of honesty and placation. We must constantly choose between appeasing our teachers and appeasing our muse. We must decide daily whether to pour out our hearts onto paper and to set free our own, imprisoned thoughts or to take the trusted, safe, well-beaten path and receive the better grade. For there is a thin line between intelligent and conformed, yet a far thicker line between pleasing and truthful.

As students, we must walk that line.

So when I say that this 500 word expository essay (typed, double-spaced) was difficult to write, it is because I must struggle to write an apology for a crime I feel no guilt over, yet at the same time mollify my teacher who seems so in need of an apology.

Now, let us read this essay.

I suppose the responsible thing to do now is to say that I hindered my fellow classmates, as well as myself, from being informed of the many opportunities at Fountain Valley High School and then write 480 more eloquent “please-forgive-me” words. But I must be honest. I do not believe I caused much chaos last Friday.

I took the liberty of observing my classmates during announcements today and found that they were all either talking with their friends, staring blankly into space, or messing around with the papers on their desk. Not to say they weren’t paying attention. In fact, I’m sure some of them know which room to go to if they wanted to sign up for the BBN. But the amount of people actually paying attention, despite the quiet conditions, made me doubt my interruption last Friday caused any quantifiable disturbance.

Ironically as I observed those around me, I realized I was distracting myself from the announcements. I faced myself forward, picked up a few random words such as “laptop” and “yearbook” before becoming incredibly interested with the ellipses I could form by twirling the papers on my desk. I must be honest again; I feel I paid more attention last week when I knew I could comment on whatever the announcer said. It made the announcements more fun, more interactive. I’m fairly positive “fun” and “interactive” greatly increases retention rate. On the other hand, I’m not the one with a career in education.

So, to recap, I am unable to identify any significant effects upon my classmates or myself. I greatly doubt anyone was seriously hindered by my interruptions. Besides, morning announcements are not the school’s main source of information. Most information is shared by poster or word of mouth. In fact, if something is truly important, ASB sends representatives during class time in order to announce said important announcement. Also, the announcements are posted outside of the activities office. If a student actually required knowledge of a certain subject, they could easily check them during passing period or lunch. For these reasons, I have concluded that my interruptions did not interrupt much at all.

Of course, interrupting the class is not restricted to the morning announcements. But when I pondered over other ways that I disturb the classroom setting, nothing came to mind. Maybe I’m dull. In fact, I’m probably dull. Because I’m definitely not a saint. But it is quite difficult to explain the effects of my disturbances when none, besides morning announcements, come to mind.

Again, I do not want to claim to be perfect. It was without a doubt disrespectful and immature to disregard your requests for a quiet climate in which the morning announcements are more easily perceived. So, for disobeying your orders, I do ask for forgiveness. However, I cannot bring myself to apologize for disrupting the class because, as far as I can tell, I have done no such thing.

As for strategies to avoid further interruptions, the most viable option is to not pay attention during the morning announcements. One of my greatest flaws is my tongue, quick to criticize and slow to think. The way I see it, the less I hear, the less input I have on the subject. Perhaps I can apply this to the rest of my classes. I may become less of a distraction.

I hope this essay sufficiently explained my observations. If it is unclear, I would be happy to explain it in person. It was, after all, quite difficult to write.

Your student,

Alex Chiang

5 Easy Steps to Life!

2009-03-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

1. Get born! Living starts the nanosecond that the first millimeter of your scalp protrudes from your parent's body. Ironically, the first step to dying is when the doctors cut your umbilical cord mere seconds later. Welcome onto the bus. There's a coffin at the end of everyone's ride specially made in bulk for all of you.
*Disclaimer* Your living may or may not end before the fifth step due to natural occurrences such as car crashes, natural disasters, murders etc. We hold no responsibility for you wasting your life before you've actually begun to live.

2. Get smart! From the age of 0.000000001 seconds to 22 years, the meaning of living is get the most alphabetically favorable report card as possible. Don't worry, this is only the first fourth of your living. You'll have plenty of time later to actually live.
*Caution* A social life may or may not be a hindrance to your success. Make sure to choose acquaintances that beneficial to your survival i.e. large jocks, easily persuaded nerds. Remember! Friendships are temporary. But a B+ on your report card lasts forever.

3. Get rich! It doesn't much matter how this happens. It does, though, matter how fast it happens. Don't let anyone else's life get in the way of yours. It is unfortunate for them, not you, if they are weak and let you trample on top of them to arrive at success. The faster you get enough money to retire, the faster you can get to living a happy, fun-filled, regret-free life.
*Hint* If your method to riches happens to be illegal, let it be as unnoticeable as possible. Nothing blows more than spending another sixth of your life wasting away in prison.

4. Get retired! Congratulations! You've made it to life! Spend as much time as you wish playing shuffleboard atop a five-star cruise. Hopefully you haven't wasted away much of your time already. Because the very next step is . . .

5. Get dead! I told you we'd be here in no time! Please exit the bus slowly. Watch out! The last step is six feet deep. I hope you have savored your 10-20 years of life! Because your ticket is, unfortunately, one way.

haiku.

2009-02-27T15:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder

If poets count out their beats

When they are speaking.

dp Designs.

2009-02-26T18:04:00.000-08:00

hey guys!
so pretty much my friend's a pretty awesome artist and he paints on shoes and backpacks and stuff. he just got a blogspot with some of his stuff on it. it's pretty much awesometastic.
check it outt.

http://dphommasadesigns.blogspot.com/

Why do we love?

2009-02-25T17:51:00.000-08:00

Not who. Not how. But why?

What is so deeply ingrained in us
That causes us to love?

Do we love our parents for all the things they provide?
Or our friends for their support in the highs and the lows?
Do we love our gods for the heaven they promise?
Or our lovers for that feeling, that matchless, incomparable feeling?

For if these are the only things that cause us to love,
Then the only people we love are ourselves.

goodness.

2009-02-23T19:40:00.000-08:00

i have a blog? haha.

Fortune Cookie.

2008-10-16T20:12:00.000-07:00

When I opened my fortune cookie today, it posed me a question.

If you never change your mind,

why have one?

After a few moments of pondering, I posed it a question.

If you always change your mind,

why have one?

Confidant I had won the argument, I popped it into my mouth.

first impressions.

2008-08-27T22:38:00.001-07:00

it's all wrong but it's.... alright!

wake up at six.
five pound backpack.
homework from every class.
fifteen miles.
first day.

you tell me my first impression.

quiz tomorrow....

funny. in a sick and twisted way.

2008-05-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

something I thought is worth passing on. (i didn't write this)

"I’d like to order one Fatty McFat-Fat and a Superficial Burger with a small side of Materialism Fries. Wait, make that an extra large one! Let’s see… I’d also like one 'IOnlyCareAboutMyself' Salad with Hedonism dressing because I have to watch my figure. For my boy, may I have a Seven Deadly Sins special with extra Lust? Oh yes, he would also like a testosterone filled shake to build his already bloated Pride. Last, could you sprinkle some Ignorance on everything so that we could enjoy it all blissfully? Thank you!"

wow.

2008-05-18T22:29:00.001-07:00

set us free, sweet summer day...

wait. wait. i have a blog...?
haha.
beginning of the year i checked this everyday.
no. more than everyday.
i used to jump straight to baronbanner.blogspot.com as soon as i got home.
i'd drink in Titus's eloquent speech. immerse in Victoria's whimsical style. laugh at Nuran's excellent diction.
(though i do admit, Vincent's was too smart for me. it made my brain hurt.)
however now, 162 days behind me, 18 days to go, i haven't even been blogspot in a month.
maybe a month and a half.
heck, i haven't even been that active within the baron banner at school.
i should have. i could have.
i wasn't.
and i hate admitting i regret something. but i regret that.

there's a lot of "what if"s in life.
i know my big one is what if i didn't waste my time.

everything's easier to preach than to practice.

and i know, September 3rd come around i will have wasted three months of my life to idleness.

listen to me. i'm already giving up.

maybe i spend too much time in Nostalgia.
and not enough time living.

=]

2008-03-30T16:59:00.000-07:00

yupp.

i gotta tell myself to keep

2008-03-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

quiet quiet don't let it all come undone...

well i think this is the closest i've gotten to using an explicit in a blog
why am i such a *fluck* up?

honestly
it's not even like it was inevitable
it was a stupid, easily avoidable mistake

it's no wonder the Bible describes the tongue as the only untamed beast

i've been brought up taught to think before i speak
to weigh the consequences before my actions
to treat my words like a potential wildfire

why do i have to be so *flucking* funny...?

why can't i stop hurting people...?

One Month

2008-02-28T19:11:00.000-08:00

it was raining on the sun...

one month...
one month since my last post.

it's funny how much can happen in a month....

it's also funny how a month can go by and nothing can happen at all.

to be honest i haven't been writing cause nothing extraordinary has happened.
at least, not to me.

i know, i know, i should be taking advantage of the blessings i have. i should be strengthening the relationships i have, building up the things i know, and making the most of the time i have.

i also know how easy it is to not follow your own judgement.

so now, i waste away at the computer, with one less month to live....

on the happier side:
New album by The Afters out! :D
check out Myspace Girl =]

RE: Crazy In Love

2008-01-31T18:04:00.000-08:00

got me lookin so crazy right now...

tera's first blog post yesterday was about love...
love really is a funny thing isn't it
we find joy and serenity in love
yet we find heartbreak and chaos in it as well
is it possible for a fountain to bear both fresh and salty water?

you see, tera's blog really got me thinking
got me thinking about my own relationships
love in general

it made me start thinking from the moment i read her title

in fact, when i read her title the first thing i thought of was this:

sighhh you don't get to see something quite as strange as that everyday

hahaha!

2008-01-30T18:24:00.000-08:00

trying to keep my head on straight...

well.
i'm not sure how many other people have noticed this....
perhaps i'm just strange
but the doors
in our school bathrooms
are made by a company called
Hiney Hiders

perhaps i'll get a picture! =]

finally

2008-01-29T20:18:00.000-08:00

it's tragic...

well... i finally quit piano lessons today.
most kids would see this as a victory. the final hurrah after months of arguing with parents.
but not me... not now...
now, twenty minutes after what could possibly be my last piano lesson ever, it feels like the decisive loss that inevitably leads to certain defeat.

and to be blunt... i'm scared...

don't get me wrong, i'm not some super-motivated teen angel who plays piano like there's no tomorrow.

however, i'm not the other extreme either
it's not that i hate piano
really, truthfully, i love piano
the beauty of the music
the passion, the emotion
my teacher is amiable and encouraging
piano lessons could probably be one of the best things that has ever happened to me

what then? you ask
what could possibly cause me to quit such a wonderful thing?

motivation
or rather lack of it
i think i practice on a monthly basis

seeing my lack of passion, my parents decided to pull me out of piano lessons in order to save money as well as to not force me to begrudgingly trudge through CM (if you've ever taken piano, you just shuddered)

and so, after months of deciding, my parents told me that today would be my last piano lesson.
...they told me today...

i tell myself that the only reason i didn't practice was because of my obligation.
i say that being forced to play is what caused me to lose motivation.
i try to convince myself that without the weight of necessity, i will continue piano with zeal.

and now that i've finally quit, i can put that theory to the test...
and this is what i fear

i fear with the obligation gone, the art will slip through my fingers
i fear that i've been lying to myself this whole time
i fear that my defeat was not at my parent's hands, it was at my own...

New Things

2008-01-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

i don't wanna look i just wanna find...

today i learned a new way to smile

most people think of doing this :)
or this :D
or :] =) =]

but today
i learned this Ü

in other news
i succeeded in my very own make-shift table of death :D
what is the table of death?
here's a nice example

ugh...

2008-01-20T18:34:00.001-08:00

whoa whoa... waiting for the breakdown...

i can't remember the last time i got sick

i do however remember i had an uncanny ability to get sick at the worst of times

Beginning of Summer Break
Right Before a Camping Trip
Christmas
Thanksgiving

so, i guess it figures that i went from perfectly healthy to 104º fever on the Saturday of the three day weekend before finals

it also figures that i should get sick when my parents were busy at a wedding
it figures i should lose my appetite when my parents ordered pizza
it figures the tylenol would be on the shelf too high for my sisters to reach

but otherwise...
i'm not starving
i'm not freezing
i'm not needing

life is good

Demotivator of the Day #3

2008-01-11T17:06:00.000-08:00

it's hard to say i really, really care...

writing with pens

2008-01-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

cause lead's just not permanent...

i don't like writing with pens

i love pens
they're so much more poetic
much more professional
much more sincere
i just don't like writing with them

and i've always wondered why

maybe it's cause i make too many mistakes
and i don't like seeing my mistakes

because as much as i try to cover them up
to cross out my misspellings
to white out the stray marks
my mistakes are always there
as blatant as ever
as permanent as ever

but it's funny how those stray marks
make the paper prettier than without them
how those misspellings
give it life and emotion
how the senseless doodles on the side
give it more meaning than any words could describe

yet i write with pencil
where none of my choices matter
cause nothing is set in stone
where beauty and feeling is sacrificed
for accuracy and repetition
where it's easy to lose everything
to the brush of an eraser

i thank God he didn't give me the option
to draw my life with a pencil

That's just awesome

2008-01-02T14:01:00.000-08:00

...what a shipwreck...

Read the second warning at the bottom of the picture.
I'm serious, no photo editing involved.

2007 is soo last year

2007-12-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

is this the new year? or just another night?

I've always thought celebrating New Years was a bit strange.

I mean sure, it'll never be 2007 ever again.
But then again...
It'll never be December 31, 2007 ever again either.
Or December 30, 2007.
Or July 14, 2007.
Or February 3, 2007.

Why just celebrate the end of one day when you can celebrate the end of them all?

Goodbye December 31, 2007.
Hello January 1, 2008.

To: You and Only You

2007-12-28T12:48:00.000-08:00

Dear you,

I guess there's no point for me to hold it in any longer. Everything you never wanted me to know. I know. And, to tell the truth, I hated you for it. Ever since the first time you lied to me about it, I hated you. "How could you do that to me?" I thought. "Why didn't you warn me?" But that fiery hatred quickly froze over in wake of cold bitterness. "It doesn't matter anyways." That bitterness was paralysis. It cut off my ability to think straight. My ability to feel the love I felt for you. Even the hatred I had felt so shortly before succumbed to my new found apathy. "I can never forget that. I can never forgive you."

That got me thinking. Why can't I forgive you? "It's too hard," I thought. But isn't forgiving always hard? True forgiveness goes against our "judicial" nature. True forgiveness denies us our vengeful instincts. True forgiveness is me bearing the pain of your unpunished wrongs. Why should anyone forgive?

Yet, how beautiful a thing forgiveness is. Isn't it what we've been hoping for our whole lives? Haven't we begged, "Please! Forgive me! Just this once. It'll never happen again. Don't you love me?" And that's just it. Isn't true forgiveness harder than true love? It's more painful and less rewarding. Yet the two are totally inseparable. Forgiveness is love. I couldn't truly forgive you unless I truly loved you. And yes, I love you.

I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt because that would only cheat you out of the fullness of real forgiveness. Nor will I make you pay for what you've done, for then what would the point of this forgiveness be? I'll say it simply. I'll say it plainly.

I forgive you. I love you.

Sincerely,
me

Demotivator of the Day ... Christmas Edition

2007-12-26T19:47:00.000-08:00

awww!!!

Please, Sue Me

2007-12-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

...here's to many more...

Yes.
I'm politically incorrect.
Throw me in jail.
Pour kerosene onto the stake.
Warm up the electric chair.
Frankly, I don't quite care what you say.
It's what it is.
It's what it will always be.

Merry CHRISTmas
=]

that's kinda weird...

2007-12-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

i hate x-mas parties...

it's funny how you look forward to fat men dressed in red breaking into your house on Christmas but not any other day of the year...

it's also funny how your parents encourage you to take candy from strangers on Halloween....

i'm so proud of myself :]

2007-11-27T07:41:00.000-08:00

we are one tonight

call me a loser, it's what i did over thanksgiving break

Pleasures of Life

2007-11-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

but now i'm sunny with a high of 75

Today I had the pleasure of getting hit by a car.
No, I'm not hurt. In fact, not so much as a bruise.
I know, disappointing.

Actually, it was a bit comical. In fact, I saw it coming. As I started to cross the street on my bike, a car, who I would like to note was not looking right, tapped me just hard enough knock me off. Quickly I got up, looked into the stunned eyes of the driver and the woman in the passenger's seat, and laughed at my clumsiness. They did not laugh back. I asked them to back up so I could retrieve my shoe which was jammed under the front right tire, which they did. I put it on, got back up onto my bike, and rode back home, trying to act tough for the shocked looking cross country girls who happened to be watching from the other side of the street.

As I was riding home, a thought suddenly hit me. My friend, who had broken his arm in a bike accident, had been reminding me to wear my helmet earlier that day. He had hit the ground so hard, his helmet now bore a huge crack down the middle. His skull, however, remained as thick as ever.

Laughing to myself, I remembered something else that had been told to me. In light of the recent tragedy at Fountain Valley High School, Victoria had reminded me how fragile life is.

It's funny how much we take for granted. How our lives are threatened daily by forces we don't even know of. At any moment the world as we know it could be shattered.

Yet, it's these sharp turns that really makes life what it is. The constant reshaping and reworking. How even the subtlest movements can change the future. If my friend hadn't reminded me of my helmet, if I hadn't been as aware, if the driver was less alert, would I even be writing this post right now? Or would I just be another name in the newspaper, claimed by the same thing that must take all of us in the end. Am I lucky? Blessed? Or is this just the way fate works?

It's funny what it takes to change your attitude about things.

I've lead a good life. No family members have passed, no sudden betrayal or real heartache. Many people would think this makes me happy. I don't think so. I think what makes my life so blessed is not the absence of tragedy but the presence of joy. A loving family, so many true friends, a Savior I know will always be with me. All the things that really make up life, I am now grateful for. I guess the real pleasure in life is life itself.

I don't know how else to say it. I'm happy to be alive.

Demotivator of the Day #2

2007-10-22T18:57:00.001-07:00

You Don't Have a Soul

2007-10-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."
-C.S. Lewis

Famous Last Words

2007-10-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

"Wait a minute, red on yellow..."

"Cut the red wire, it's always the red wire."

"At least I have my back up parachute."

"And then I saw the murderer was-"

"In the flagon with the dragon...."

"Cut the blue wire, it's always the blue wire."

"Don't worry, it'll grow back."

"Uh-oh."

"Don't shoot! I'm unarmed!"

"Don't worry, honey! It runs Vista!"

"...where at least I know I'm free..."

2007-10-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

It's funny what we all take for granted.
A home, a school, a family.
Many children of the world aren't blessed enough to even dream of such luxuries.
Yet we overlook, and even scorn our own bed of roses.

I'm a Boy Scout. During our camp outs and meetings, we learn to love and respect America and the freedom that comes with our citizenship. Remember this as I go on to state how disappointed I was during the Pledge of Allegiance yesterday.

The speakers blared on and told us to please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. I stood and placed my hand over my heart. At the signal of "Ready, begin" I began to recite.

"I pledge allegiance-"

I quickly stopped.
Besides my voice, and the droning of the speaker, the room was silent.

Shocked, I looked around. A girl to the left of me was quickly jotting down some unfinished homework with her other hand limp by her chest. A boy to the right of her silently mouthed the words as his gaze wandered around the classroom. In the back corner, two girls were quietly chatting. A few students behind me were muttering the Pledge under their breath. The boy in front of me had his hands stuffed in his pocket with his shoulders slumped.

I was disgusted.

Don't these kids have any American pride? Don't they know how lucky we are to have our basic rights? Don't they know how free we really are? Why aren't they respecting all the soldiers that have died and are still dying for our country? Can't they remember how united America had to stand after repeated tragedies? Pearl Harbor. The World Trade Center. Is it all meaningless? Have not countless individuals died for our freedom? Can't we just show a little respect and recite a simple paragraph?

But then, my anger was quenched and I was overcome with shame.
For I, too, had fallen silent.

Demotivator of the Day

2007-10-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

Tic-Tacs

2007-10-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

One night, after a particularly strong dinner, I went into my room to get my box of Tic-Tacs. I found it laying around the house a couple weeks ago and it became a habit to pop one in my mouth every few days. When I grabbed the small container from off my bookshelf I realized there were only six mints left. Disappointing I thought. But, as I poured one of the tiny mints into my hand, I realized that Tic-Tacs represented so much about our society that I detest.

They hide parts of us that we want no one to see.

Tic-Tacs are nothing more than an object of deceit. They are designed to hide our breath. The very thing that gives us life. What are we ashamed of?

We're ashamed of our problems. Our bad habits. Our strange desires. Our less desirable characteristics. The very things that would be the most beneficial to share, we hide. Why do the Alcoholics remain Anonymous?

Everyday we put on masks of how we want to be seen. We want respect. We want acceptance from those we look up to and admiration from those we look over. Why is it neccessary for us to hide if all we want is high esteem? Are we not good enough as ourselves? What's the point of being respected for someone we're not?

Each of us are perfect on the outside but none of us are who we are on the inside. We're all cookie cut Ken and Barbie dolls who can only see how wonderful everyone else looks and yet how horrible we are.

Even more disturbing is the fact that we can't even trust our family or our friends to accept our problems. We invest our lives in these people and they mean more to us than anything and yet we can't hope that they will be able to confide in our secrets. Will they not accept us for ourselves? What kind of friends do we think they are?

The worst part is that after the Wintergreen Taste fades away, your mouth tastes as bad as ever. We force temporary solutions to solve our eternal problems. It's like trying to change from the outside in. And, at the end of the day, the mask comes off and the only person we aren't able to fool is ourself.

Slowly, I popped the Tic-Tac in my mouth.

This Subject is Totally Subjective

2007-09-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

aghhh i hate writers block
i've been sitting in front of the computer for six days and absolutely nothing has come to mind
so, instead of regurgitate out something that's totally forced and extremely un-Alex i've decided to just regurgitate out something that's totally forced but extremely Alex. Have fun.

Re: What's a hero?

2007-09-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Exactly one week ago, Amanda asked a simple question. What's a hero? This question struck me over the head and I spent the last week pondering. However, I can now finally answer this conundrum. Here it goes Amanda.

A true hero is not fearless. If he has nothing to fear, why would it be so surprising that he stands to fight? However, a true hero is courageous. After all, courage is just fear holding on one second longer. A true hero is not unwavering. Even the darkest of criminals do not regret their actions. A true hero knows when he is wrong and is not scared of admitting it. A true hero does not stand up when everyone else is afraid to. Hypocrites and attention seekers stand while others stay seated. A true hero lifts others up when they are too scared to stand alone.

However, there is one characteristic that is the most important to a hero.
What characteristic is the most important you ask?
The answer is simple.
Heroes have superpowers.

Far-fetched you say? Merely a product of fantasy and science fiction? I beg to differ. In fact, I say superhumans are already among us.

Man is a narcissistic species by nature. We've colonized the four corners of our tiny planet. But we are not the pinnacle of so-called evolution. That honor belongs to the lowly cockroach. Capable of living for months without food. Remaining alive headless for weeks at a time. Resistant to radiation. If God has indeed created himself in his own image then I submit to you that God is a cockroach. They say that man uses only a tenth of his brain power. Another percent and we might actually be worthy of God's image. Unless, of course, that day has already arrived. The Human Genome Project has discovered that tiny variations in man's genetic code are taking place at increasingly rapid rates. Teleportation. Levetation. Tissue regeneration. Is this outside the realm of possibility? Or is man entering a new gateway to evolution? Is he finally standing at the threshold of true human potential? I'm sorry. I'm out of time.

9 o'clock
September 24
NBC
Are you on the list?

Recycling

2007-09-22T20:51:00.000-07:00

The Oxford American Dictionary defines recycling as "converting into reusable material." As of now, we can only recycle some materials such as plastic, paper, and glass. However, in the future, we will be able to recycle everything.

Today, I found the future is happening now.

Writers are recycling stories.

Yes, recycling is no longer reserved for last week's newspaper and empty Gatorade bottles. No. Authors are now reusing others' creativity.

We are all familiar with the original Star Wars trilogy. Farm boy Luke lives with his uncle, Owen, until the Empire throws his life out of balance because of two robots he finds. Luke then sets out on a quest to stop the Empire. Simple, straightforward, classic.

How many of us are familiar with the Inheritance trilogy? Farm boy Eragon lives with his uncle, Garrow, until the Empire throws his life out of balance because of a smooth blue stone he finds. Eragon then sets out on a quest to stop the Empire. Sound familiar?

The deeper I looked, the more familiar this #1 New York Times Bestseller became.

Eragon (Luke) sets out with an ancient mentor Brom (Obi-Wan) who was once part of a group of peace makers called the Dragon Riders (Jedi). Unfortunately, the Dragon Riders (Jedi) were killed off by a rebel within their own ranks named Galbatorix (Palpatine). Gallbatorix (Palpatine) enlists Morzan (Anakin) who helps him kill off the Dragon Riders (Jedi). Galbatorix (Palpatine) then makes his own tyrannical Empire. Then, in a totally and completely unforeseeable plot twist, Morzan (Anakin) is revealed to be Eragon's (Luke's) father.

How coincidental.

On his quest, Eragon (Luke) receives a distress call from a princess named Arya (Leia) who is deep inside an Empire fortress (Death Star). Sadly, as Eragon (Luke) goes to save Arya (Leia) he runs into trouble and Brom (Obi-Wan) must sacrifice himself to allow them to escape. Luckily, Eragon (Luke) and Arya (Leia) run into a mercenary like character named Murtagh (Han Solo). Together, they trek to the Varden (Rebel Alliance) and miraculously defeat a force much stronger than them in the Battle of Farthen Dur (Battle of Yavin). Eragon (Luke) then receives a message from a very old man named Orosmis (Yoda) who trains him in order to complete his Dragon Rider (Jedi) training.

...

Is this what "art" is coming to? Our stories ares just equations with names and settings as variables. Our music is restricted to power chords and our lyrics are stuck on being depressed. Our painters are homeless and high. Is our generation too unoriginal to create our own ideas? Or perhaps we're too scared to make an impact. Perhaps we're too comfortable with fitting in. Maybe we're trapped inside our own little "safety zone." Maybe we're too content with recycling.

By the way, who besides me is still confused about the whole blue, green, brown trash can color scheme?

Taking a break from Compare/Contrast paper

2007-09-17T23:06:00.000-07:00

note to self: began writing post at 10:19

I have a love-hate relationship with wasting time. It's great to not have to do that compare/contrast English paper that's due tomorrow but when eleven o'clock rolls around you know you've killed your chance of a good eight hours of sleep.

Ugh. Sleep. I have a love-hate relationship with sleep. Sure your body needs to replenish its supply of ATP but think of those eight (no six) hours you could have been using for something else. Eating? Studying? Anything? Sigh. Can't live with it, can't live without it.

Or can we?

Think about it. Precious hours of your life slipping away. Why? So your body can be inactive. Why must your body be inactive? So you can be active the next day! And being active the next day causes the need for sleep! It's a vicious cycle. Think of how many days, months even, were ravaged by sleep.

note to self: 10:28 when i researched on sleep

According to helpguide.org, infants need at least sixteen hours of sleep while toddlers and young children need at least ten hours. Teenagers need about nine hours and adults can go for five. Now, that's the bare minimum. How many hours would that be if you lived to be, say, seventy-five? When I whipped out my calculator, I found that "minimum" means 2,880 hours of sleep as an infant, 9,100 hours as a toddler, 21,900 hours as a young child, 9,855 as a pre-teen, 22,995 as a teenager, and 102,200 as an adult. That's a grand total of 168,930 hours your life lost to sleep. Once again, that's bare minimum. Perhaps 168,930 is too strange of a number to deal with. To simplify, that means 7,038.75 days or about 19.28 years. 19.28 years.

note to self: 10:43 when i finished calculations

Almost Twenty Years. A child grows to be an adult in twenty years. Some countries have an average life-span of twenty years. The timeline of World War I and II put together is twenty years. The size of the hole in the ozone layer increases by 80% in twenty years. The North Pole could be melted away in twenty years. Twenty years, gone. Totally turned off for a third of your life. Numbingly passive. Oblivious and unaware. Life. Gone. Wasted time.

Ugh. Wasting time. I have a love-hate relationship with wasting time.

note to self: 11:06 when the post was finished

grand total: 47 minutes i could have used studying for AP Euro

wasted time

testing..123

2007-09-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

i just thought i'd tell everyone that i have absolutely nothing to say...

yes that's right

i just wasted ten seconds of your precious life that you can never get back

ever

in fact if you keep reading i might make it to twenty

i'm on a roll...

....

stop reading this